I miss him so much :(

Again after a long time of not visiting here I am here again hahahha. Hello my blog :) How are you? Well me, I'm better. Better nga ba? Sometimes I ask my self if I'm still okay? Masaya naman actually, pero malungkot din :( (anu daw?)  mejo magulo na complicated or ako lang talaga nagpapagulo? Haissstttttt. Its my first ever LDR and kinda sad about it, not because of him but because of everything that sucks. Actually he's the most nicest man I'll ever meet in my 25years of existing in the universe. Nakakalungkot lang ng dahil sa situation apektado pati relasyon namen. Feeling ko everytime na pinipilit ko syang uuwi ang damot damot ko, ang sama sama kong tao. Ayokong dumating yung time na he need to choice between me and his family. Ang sama ko naman, pero minsan gusto kong maramdaman na ako ung priorities ako naman, pede ba un? (hindi!!!ilusyunada lang ako ahahahha!sabi ko nga, bawal mangarap?) Sometimes, I forgot where will I stand. Nakakalimutan kong girlfriend lang ako. Masakit isipin na hindi ako ung first lagi ang pangalwa? pangatlo? ang sakit sakit. Kaya hindi ko maiwasan na minsan, kahit minsan lang dumating ung time na sana ako naman ung maging priorities nya.Hindi naman sa nakikipagkompetenasya, wala naman kasi kaming laban, pero ung minsan lang sana, sana ako naman. I know he's always been a good baby brother, kaya ayokong maging dahilan ng pagaaway nila ng mga kapatid nya kaya kahit mahirap iniintindi ko kasi  mahal ko e, pag nagmamahal ka natitiis mo lahat kahit masakit kinakaya kasi mahal mo, hindi naman kasi tayo nagmamahal dahil masaya at masarap lang, Nagmamahal tayo kasi nagmamahal tayo. I'm just hoping that one day magkaron sya ng sariling desisyon, not for me but for yourself. Hindi masama ung minsan sarili mo naman ung itindihin mo. But I'm not saying na abondohanin mo ung family mo. I know that family comes first kaya nga naiintindihan kita e, pero sana, sana sometimes make time for yourself. Hindi naman masamang minsan maging masaya ka. Hindi naman ibig sabihin pag sinuway mo masama ka ng tao. Sometimes you have to find your happiness on your own. Right now I'm just hoping na sana this relationship will not lead to a failed one, Nakakalungkot kasi isipin.......Cge na bye na. drama drama sa umag nyahahha :))) I just want to say I miss you so much :((( na...nakakasad naaaaaaaaaaaa